Perpetual Purging; Constipation; and Caustin Perfectionism!
My heart is a very delicate thing that must be perpetually purged of things that distract it. Therefore, I HAVE to write to purge my soul of all the feelings this journey evokes and of all the whisperings from my God. I HAVE to write to remind myself, of His promises given to me. I HAVE to write to allow others to know that they are not alone. I HAVE to write because that is one of the things God made me to do.
Two hours have passed. I sit keyboarding a sentence. Deleting the sentence. Trying again. Refusing to be defeated. My mind is screaming at me to give up and go "DO SOMETHING!" The enemy of my soul whispers in my ear that I have nothing to say. I feel constipated with words.
I bring up a couple of blogs that I follow. They are beautifully photographed; articulately written; and precisely perfected. I feel the tentacles of the caustic perfectionism octopus rising from the floor beneath my chair. They adhere themselves to the marrow of my soul and slowly start their ascent to smother any creative thought that might exist. Does the caustic perfectionism octopus ever visit you or am I the only one?
Some of you have things you HAVE to do in order to feel normal. For some of you, you run. Others of you, shop. Still, others talk. But for me, I need to select scrumptious words; construct fluent sentences; and formulate a cohesive piece of writing. I want you to feel what I feel; see what I see; smell what I smell; and hear what I hear. If I am honest, I just really want you to "Be" with me. I have never met most of you and yet, I am compelled to want to share my beautiful, messy journey with you.
Maybe ... what I really want is for you to know that you are not alone. None of us are perfect. Truly, none of us have this life figured out and we all need each other and our Creator. Here is what I know...He has an untangled view of our journey on this planet and will be with us. So, today I offer you my words and an invitation to "Be" with me as I journey with My Creator. You are not alone.
I would love to hear about your journey. Feel free to send me your thoughts.
Until We Chat Again,
The Plank-Eyed Girl