My Succulent, Silent Secret
As silent as a sleeping boa, I slide my secret into the bathroom drawer. I am deliriously ashappy as a child with a secret stash of candy. Every time I think about my secret, my heart dances and twirls. My secret is not wrong or sinful. In fact, it's honestly kind of silly. It is just that I don't want to share it with anyone. So, it is just my sweet secret for now.
Adjusting the covers so that my cocoon is intact, my eyelids gently close sending a message to my brain that it has permission to go back to freely roaming. Like a confused grasshopper, it jumps back a week, to a new secret place I've discovered. It is a secret place that my Abba and I visit together when the grief becomes too much. It is a real place, but it is another one of my "secrets".
Having secrets makes me happy. Maybe it is because they are something I don't have to share. Maybe it is because in this world of "tell all" and "show all" and "exposure," they provide a private connection point between my Creator and I. It makes my heart happy to share these intimate and sometimes silly things.
Another hour slips by. It is time to rise, but I am enjoying just allowing my thoughts to wander. I have many secrets. Most of them are benign, but some of them are not.
A single thought drops into my head. It is like a pesky fly that gets in the house. I can't stop it. It comes just close enough, to disturb my peace but not close enough that I can extinguish it. I have to wonder, is it wrong to keep secrets? Are all secrets wrong?
In the Bible, Samson had a secret. His secret was that his incredible strength was due to his uncut hair. He was told not to cut it or tell anyone his secret. In a moment of passion and weakness he told Delilah. She cut his hair off while he slept and therefore he was without his strength when he needed it most. Queen Esther had a secret. She was of Jewish descent. The same Jews her husband, the King, had signed a decree to have killed. She kept this secret until just the right moment and thus saved the Jewish people. Rehab, the prostitute had a secret. She had hidden the spies and helped them escape. This led to her life and her family being spared from death. In the end, her descendants became part of the linage of Jesus. These were all important secrets. These were all good secrets that needed to be kept until just the right moment.
Still in other stories, a secret leads to destruction. Ananias and Sapphira lied about the amount of money they had sold their land for. Each individually lied when asked. Each dropped over dead. Saul lied to Samuel about taking the "booty" after God had told him not to take any. So God removed him from the throne.
God has secrets. In Deuteronomy 29:29 It states, "The Lord, our God, has secrets known to no one..." God does not consider secrets to be right or wrong. There are some things that others should know and some things they should not. He does consider any secret held to hide sin as wrong. Other than that, my concern should be how these secrets are used.
So, you want to know my secret? LOL! I bet you do. This is it.
Don't worry, I have other silly secrets. Stay tuned for June 15th! You won't want to miss it!
Until We Chat Again,
The Plank-Eyed Girl